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precognition? silly coincidence?
So, I am clearing off bookshelves and getting rid of some old books that I haven’t re-read in years. In my book of 100 Hair Raising Little Horror Stories I found a copy of my 2002 wedding invitation...
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words.
I have so many words just a swirling around in my bean these days. None of them are particularly funny or clever, so please don’t get excited. Although, to be fair, I really only nail funny and clever...
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Officially Old
Okay, so I always wondered if there was a moment in your life when you know, like know down deep in your bones, that you are past your prime and I can now answer….yes, yes there is. It is when you...
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Tipping Advice…
I am not a famous person and I sincerely hope it stays that way. If, by some wicked twist of fate I do become famous I sincerely hope it is for doing something really good and not something really...
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Neighbors
I, like many of you, have neighbors. In general, I can get along well with other humans mainly because I can talk the hell out of some small talk, “weather. weather. dogs. weather.” (see, small talk!)...
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Bandelettes! aka chub-rub defeaters of wonderousness!
Actually, these things are named BANDELETTES and they are marketed as “Inner Thigh Guards” and after reading about their existence I immediately bought three pairs because, well, holy shit! These might...
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Dear Schmoopypants, you’ve gone too far.
Dearest Lovemuffin, I’m sorry to inform you that you have defiled our love, broken my trust, and made me question if I ever really knew you at all! How could you!?! Was it tastier and more exciting...
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Okay, where’s my (damn) tricorder?
AAAAAAAAGH! Okay, let me start out by saying I am not a doctor. I have never played a doctor on tv. In this lifetime, I have absolutely no desire to ever become a doctor. that doesn’t mean I don’t find...
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Today’s Adventure
Today’s Random Adventure: So, following my morning doctor’s appointment (hey, insulin refills are a thing!) and getting no horrible news about Herbert (sick doggie) I decided to grab subway before...
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Not Namaste
So, I went on a date night during the full moon last week. It was pretty spiffy, paid $20 each, got a t-shirt and a bouncy off-road jeep ride to a tall plateau with an amazing view of the island. Being...
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precognition? silly coincidence?
So, I am clearing off bookshelves and getting rid of some old books that I haven’t re-read in years. In my book of 100 Hair Raising Little Horror Stories I found a copy of my 2002 wedding invitation...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Officially Old
Okay, so I always wondered if there was a moment in your life when you know, like know down deep in your bones, that you are past your prime and I can now answer….yes, yes there is. It is when you...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Neighbors
I, like many of you, have neighbors. In general, I can get along well with other humans mainly because I can talk the hell out of some small talk, “weather. weather. dogs. weather.” (see, small talk!)...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Dear Schmoopypants, you’ve gone too far.
Dearest Lovemuffin, I’m sorry to inform you that you have defiled our love, broken my trust, and made me question if I ever really knew you at all! How could you!?! Was it tastier and more exciting...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Not Namaste
So, I went on a date night during the full moon last week. It was pretty spiffy, paid $20 each, got a t-shirt and a bouncy off-road jeep ride to a tall plateau with an amazing view of the island. Being...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Seriously?! We need to talk.
Dear body, we need to talk: feet & calves? please stop cramping – it’s just rude. Stomach & esophagus? Maybe stop with the boiling acid – it’s not helpful. Lower right jaw? Dude, you can be all...
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what fresh hell?
My brain is a special place, I recommend it as a fun vacation location, but ya probably don’t wanna live there: ouchie chemical burn due to unfortunate Nair attempt? – meh, no big deal. WAPA surge or...
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Ugh. feelz.
So, I hate people right now. I know, hate is bad, getting sucked into a vortex of negatively isn’t healthy, blah blah blah. But I have been circling the emotional drain these days anyway, so what’s a...
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Random Work Funny
So, my boss’s boss wrote that we should get her all of our emergency contact information ASAP but for all she knew our offices were closed today anyway due to Hurricane Matthew and did we have an...
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random update
Sweet baby cheesus I feel like I have been ridiculously busy lately. Regardless, I love writing so I am trying to give myself the time to do it. Okay, so….me. I’m doing okay. I’m flirting with this...
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