So many things to say and yet absolutely no ability to make with the words. No, seriously…I am aware I was just off work for 4 weeks yet the house is a bigger mess than ever and my desire to go back to work has been stymied by my seriously swollen ‘meh’ reflex.
Although, my incision has healed nicely so I guess that is something anyway.
Yesterday I was at the doctor for my 4 week checkup and I had a few questions that I couldn’t bring myself to look up on the interwebs. The largest of my questions had to do with 1. What is that horrible stabbing pain? and 2. I have my ovaries, I do not have a uterous, so I know that I will not bleed on a monthly basis (wooooohooooo!) but given that I still have ovaries will I ovulate and/or have other fun cycle-related joy–turns out yes (which I had assumed and was damn sorry to be right about). Turns out the stabbing agony of wonder was directly related to this question–I was, in fact, having trouble ovulating. Sigh.
BUT, I tell you this less-than-interesting-story to be able to tell you the most interesting story I have heard in years as told to me by my doctor. I apparently inspire such stories. 
So, there was a lady who was not born with the bottom half of her vagina. She also didn’t have a uterous. This was just one of those unfortunate genetic mutations which caused this woman to be unable to have vaginal intercourse. So, she had just finished felating her married boyfriend when his wife came in and shot her in the stomach.
Wonder of wonders, 7 months later they found that this woman had sustained an abdominal pregnancy. Both she and the baby survived.
But take a second and think this one through–had that woman been shot 15 minutes later her stomach acids would have destroyed the sperm; 15 minutes earlier and there wouldn’t have been any sperm. And let’s not forget, she didn’t have a uterous–therefore not only conceiving but sustaining an abdominal pregnancy for 7 months before detection; well the chances of this particular conception occuring are incalculable. My doctor explained this story to me because she knew I would be fascinated by it and also as a ‘don’t get shot in the stomach immediately after swallowing ejaculate while ovulating because holy crap it has happened before!’ warning.
I felt the need to share this warning with others.
Important aside: I heard this incident happened in Boston but haven’t searched for it yet so the veracity of the story is not yet proven.
Have a good night everyone! And remember, don’t get shot! (regardless of the presence of eggs and/or spermatazoa.)
Kisses,
-H.
